My dad, the inappropriate jokester ...

So all might remember my dad, the MC, at our rehearsal dinner. Who can forget his impromptu karaoke and bad jokes? You've just gotta love my dorky dad for his total obliviousness toward any social etiquette. So, with my brother's wedding next weekend, one can expect a performance from my dad. He has promised that he has no singing up his sleeve but he came to me in confidence and shared THE JOKE that he's going to give at the rehearsal dinner. No one else knows about it (most importantly, my mom) but I'm sharing it to get a preliminary reaction. (Hopefully no one but the RACK is reading this and I'm giving away his secret :)

McDonough was flat broke the night of the big contest at the local Pub. So, with a practical spirit he tapped his wife's cookie jar for all it was worth and headed out to meet his buddies.

After hours of drinking, the contest began.. a contest to see who could make the finest toast in the town.

The end of it was near and the time had finally come for McDonough, who struck a mighty pose and with great emotion proclaimed: "May I forever be, for the rest of my life, between the legs, of my lovely wife."

The pub exploded in laughter and soon declared McDonough the winner.

Returning home victorious, 100 quid in hand, McDonough sneaks through his front door and to the kitchen where he finds his wife in a burgled mood with her skillet raised high.

Lifting his 100 quid in tribute he whispers proudly: "I won the toast, Mary. I won you 100 quid!"

A stunned Mary slowly takes the burden from his hand and says "Aye, my darling husband, so I see you did. And what was this grand toast that made these winnings."

McDonough strikes another dramatic pose and grandly says: "May I forever be, for the rest of my life, sittin' in church, with my lovely wife."

A smiling Mary replied "Aye McDonough, that IS a fine toast, a mighty fine toast indeed."

The next morning finds Mary's returning from the store and at the corner light she runs into Brady, her husband's very best friend.

"Hello there Mary" said Brady, in a testy sort of way. "Your husband won the contest last night with a mighty grand toast... about Yoooooo!"

"Aye, and so he told me" said Mary "and you know, Brady, that's just the strangest of things. He's only been there twice in the last 4 years. One time he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears just to get him to come!"